I'm not really sure where I'm going with this, but I feel like this moment needs to be communicated. I just opened the first beer that won't cost me five dollars since New Year's Eve. Quick refresher- as loser of this year's league, my punishment was to only drink wine coolers (or Mike's or Smirnoff Ice) for an entire month. That's right, from New Year's Day until right now, midnight on February 1st, I had to order wine coolers at bars. Or not drink (didn't happen). The only loophole was that for every drink that I had that was not a wine cooler, I had to donate 5 dollars to charity. My official final total is $85. So I did cheat a little bit, but I kept track and if you do the math that's not even enough to get hammered one night. There were 31 nights, so the extra 17 drinks didn't really help. Let me state for the record that this month has been AWFUL. I just want to try to convey a little bit of my misery to you.
First of all, FUCK YOU RYAN AND FUCK YOU ALLAN. Continue Reading »
There it is folks. We now have Harbaugh-on-Harbaugh action for the Super Bowl. Normally you have to pay extra for that stuff. If you're lucky, you might get a ZJ out of the deal. Admittedly, both brothers are very good at their job, regardless of how much we hate one or both of them (everybody hates at least one Harbaugh, but I won't play favorites here). John is the kind of the guy who t-bones your car at a four-way stop, and then goes fucking ballistic on you for ruining his bumper. John Harbaugh, Pete Carroll, and Jim Schwartz walk into a party; after a heated push-up contest, they empty the keg into milk jugs, and steal the girl you were talking to as they leave. Fuck that guy. Okay, let's get back on track here. You now have 2 weeks of ESPN slobbering over the brothers and we get to hear the term HarBowl about 90 times. Maybe they'll work in Jimmy John's in there somehow? Hopefully the Super Bowl will be here and gone freaky fast.
Well the fantasy season has finished and Jarvis won like we all knew he would. The main theme of this ZADcast is Mike drinking a shit ton of wine coolers (see The Annis Award). We open with an actually related news story this week about two guys in Cameroon who were arrested for drinking feminine drinks. So that takes up 10 hilarious minutes of a 20 minute podcast. Like always, we finish the cast with a joke draft on what things can the Redskins organization do to really fuck themselves over for next year. All around a great ZADcast, with a lot of educational value, in case you were wondering what it's like to drink nothing but wine coolers. Turn off the shitty ESPN radio, and tune into something that will make you a cool dude.
Naturally, it is a ton of fun to enjoy a well-deserved victory. What we often overlook is how satisfying it can be to revel in another person's inadequacy. As such, this year in the league we are going to ensure that we savor the misery of the person who lets us down the most. The person that finishes the last out of Mike, Jarvis and Allan will win the Annis award, in honor of a good friend who decided it was okay to drop out of our league two days before the draft. In this case, the term "award" is very misleading. Each year that person will have to endure some sort of emasculating, agreed-upon punishment that will remind them regularly of how pathetic they are.
For 2012, The Annis award punishment is as follows: the winner has to drink nothing but wine coolers for an entire month. The last relevant game in the league will be played in December. Therefore, beginning at midnight on New Year's eve, the Annis recipient will drink no alcoholic beverage beyond wine coolers (Smirnoff Ice, Mike's Hard Lemonade, etc.) for 31 days. To demonstrate a commitment to the award, that person will post at least two pictures a week of them drinking said wine coolers to the the ZAD site. There is an additional punishment for each non-wine cooler beverage said winner drinks: Donate $5 to a battered women's shelter. Now you may be thinking, "wow, these are very thoughtful guys." Not really. We just thought it was fitting, since the winner has been beaten so badly, so many times.
The "winner" of the coveted 2012 Annis Award is none other than Mike Stan! Get ready for a month of pictures and gut-rot! Please note, with each picture, he looks progressively more defeated.
New Years Eve!
And we're back! Allan was being an adult and couldn't make the ZADcast because of work or some shit, so we at ZAD held a competition for all the listeners to take part it; The winner getting to be a special guest host for one episode! The winner (some people will do annnnything to get on this show) was Colin! We start out with an extremely unrelated news story about an Onion Story taken seriously, followed by some good playoff strategies and a pretty damn good joke draft at the end involving the White House. And Allan makes a few appearances on the show to tell us what he really thinks. You have nothing better to do anyway!
Welcome back! Sorry for long span of time between ZADcasts. We were all busy going to weddings across the nation, making this an extra special, and slightly longer, Wedding Edition ZADcast. Allan obviously is using South Carolina Skype which is a Campbells can on a string. He also makes multiple date-rape jokes, so if you're not into that type of humor, you accidentally came across our site. We have the best joke draft yet! As always, we start with an unrelated news story about a heard of drunken elephants! Then we each tell a story from the weddings we were at. We then throw in a Jay Feely fact, which kick starts our fantasy football topics. And we end with what you've all been waiting for, our joke draft, where we draft NFL players who we would like in our wedding party.
Nov 4th, 2012 by zombiealdavis
Alright, it's no secret that we are due for an epic podcast. So much has been going on in the NFL since the last time we checked in with you, our loyal listeners (and Tom). The race for last place is heating up, and each of us is mentally preparing for a month of wine coolers. Allan (or as we like to call him, Chief Queef) currently has the worst record but has scored the most points. Also, some sort of joke about him bringing up the rear. Jarvis' season has gone pretty much like the Arizona Cardinals'- a strong start and then a lot of John Skelton. Mike is still a Dwayne Bowe away from being a contender. And then there is the stuff the rest of you care about, the actual football topics. Rookie standouts, colossal disappointments (looking at you, Megatron), and key injuries have made almost all leagues anybody's to win. You might be a clutch waiver-wire pickup away from running the table. You might also still think that Danny Thomas is the answer. It doesn't matter, we've got some shit to tell you and you are going to bend over your earhole and enjoy it. The point is, we've got a lot to cover. So just letting you know to bear with us, the next show is going to be the GREATEST EVER. Or just like all the other ones. Either way, shut the fuck up and get excited for the triumphant return of ZAD.